vege day!

Umar always loves to help me in the kitchen..cooking is a good activity for kids to learn! never stop them from entering the kitchen or help us cooking, instead we should think creatively how we can get them to help while ensuring their safety:)

Umar cutting the old cucumber left in the fridge..he was using the secret recipe's 'cutter'. He discovered:

1. the name of the vege : cucumber (and cabbage too)
2. the texture of the cucumber
3. the feel (cold)
4. confidence (as he do adult work the way he wants to)
5. the taste of the vege

later after cooking and having lunch we surf on the net on vegetables. Umar learns on carrot, cabbage, capsicum besides cucumber.

while we are surfing I let him to hold the real vege at the same time so that he can relate.

we surf on:

1. how plants grow (on particular those veges), how the vege's plants look like..

2. what are the nutrition content e.g. carrot vitamin A which is good for the eyes (we learns this from songs)

Umar asked me to cook carrot on the next day and have cabbage soup for the dinner:)

When I asked, "who made the vege?" umar answered" Allah!"

Always try to nurture the trust and the existance of Allah in our kids!

pelvic floor exercise

I remember from my first pregnancy and labour in Australia, it was a special and precious experience ever in my life.

*our precious caliph..few hrs after birth*

Giving birth in the most comfortable room ever with Queen size bed and attached toilet with tub for water birth or for relaxation in the warm bath.

*could not find the Monash Medical Center (MMC), Melbourne birth suite. This one is the most similar I could find but the tub in MMC is in the bathroom*

The Queen size bed is provided for the father to have some rest while accompanying the wife. Birth process may take hours (theoretically every hr 1cm dilatation of the cervix) therefore fair enough for the father to have some rest while supporting the wife.

Just a brief overview of Australian birth facilities;)

One of the point emphasis during antenatal and post natal check up was pelvic floor exercise. The pregnancy and other associated condition such as constipation may weaken the muscle that holds the bladder, bowel and uterus in place.

But where is the muscle actually? Refer the picture below: (the muscles surrounding te three openings, urethra-opening from bladder, vagina-opening from the womb, rectum-opening from the bowel)

I've found that in Malaysia the midwife or the doctor rarely talk about this. Maybe in private setting is different and it is not a surprise if many Malaysian mother do not know what is it, the importance of it and how to do it.

This is an important exercise that can be done anwhere. It helps preventing incontinence (unable to control the urine flow) before giving birth and after labour. It also helps in the labour process and later in future in sexual relation with husband and prevent prolapse (uterus/womb dropped out from the vagina). All these sounds alarming but the good news is we can do something.

The youngest patient (in Malaysia) I have met to experience prolapse was a 30 years old lady. This poor lady need an equipment called 'pessaries' to be put in the vagina to help with her sexual relation and to get pregnant again.

*a diagram showing the uterus has prolapsed out of the wagina..it is very uncomfortable*

*the pessary ring was put in place, need to change every 3 months..very uncomfortable*

The exercise is quite difficult (because we are not sure that we apply to the right muscle) but by practice it can be done easily anywhere at anytime.

The simplest thing I practiced was by trying to hold during urination/ 'weeing' (some people hold the wind) and identify which muscle is contracted. Then I redo it and feels the same muscle contracted:)

From my personal experience, i feel like 'squeeze and lift' sensation. Initial trial I found that I actually hold my breath or pulling up my tummy which is not right. Other mistakes that may happen are tightening buttock or squeezing legs together.

A beginner may try this exercise while laying down then later in any position. Try to hold the muscle in 10 seconds and try 10 times in a row.

A good strong pelvic floor muscles helps during labour by shortening second stage of labour (this stage starts from full dilatation and expulsion of the baby), help to heal the wound caused by labour because of good circulation and more likely to have satisfying sex life.

Small things may make a big different..lets try the pelvic exercise for better future, biiznillah..!:)

I did tell, I did

I have finished this book a while ago. As described below, it is about a typical abuse case. In medical we usually refer it as 'star case' as a code to protect confidentiality. This case happens a lot in our real world including Malaysia.

It is a real story and I was attracted to read it as I want to find out how deep the parents words influence the child's psychology and their attitude, why parents do it and how the kids affected by the evil experience in short and long term.

The description from the book:

Cassie couldn-t remember when the abuse began, but from an early age she knew that her life was different from other children. Her mother made it clear that she wasn-t wanted, she wasn-t loved and He said that he was her friend, that this was his way of showing her that she was special. With no one else to turn to, finally she found the courage to speak out, to tell her mother what he did to her. But her mother wouldn-t listen, and with horror, Cassie was to discover exactly who her abuser was, and why she would never be heard. I Did Tell, I Did is the incredible story of a girl who was betrayed by everyone who should have loved her, and how she overcame the pain to find happiness and love, and to learn how to live with her past.

I am grateful to Allah for His loves and rahmah..alhamdulillah and may Allah protect us from sinful deeds!

turning moment ino opportunity

Optimism is synonymous with success. Every difficulty or even just an ordinary moment may be turned into an opportunity.

For example, Ms Lin was instructed to go for outstation for 4 days. She is a working mother who never been apart from her 2 young kids except for work. She found that it is hard to do it even for only 4 days.

Despite entertaining her misery, she has decided to turn it into an opportunity for her to read more on her current interest on online business and do some research on it since she does not has her daily routine with her kids. She ends up feeling occupied and went through the day with satisfaction and great outcome.

On the daily routine, a mother may change a boring routine into an interesting opportunity for her kids to learn. For example, the bath time. It is actually one of the most precious learning time. By being more creative for every different bath, it will make it a learning opportunity.

E.g. Experiment with water, why bottle float? why we cant breath in water etc. This may also be the stimulating step for further internet or encyclopedia exploration on the brought up point during bathtime.

what we need is some creativity and positive thinking!biiznillah..

precious moment with ayah

ayah usually is a busy man..since we have the opportunity to be together in JB thus ayah took the opportunity to spend time and read with umar ..

umar enjoying the session and surprisingly he reads better with ayah..hehe

now, he demands for more books ..alhamdulillah!

keeping up creativity and imagination

Choosing the right toys for our child is important. At this age, umar has a lot of imaginations and he links his ideas with what he observed or experienced.

I found out that this 'educational toy' is perfect for umar and surprisingly he can keep exploring it for hours.

He will build something and later he'll explain to us what is he making.

The way he explores it was impressing. he spent some times to observe first while ayah make a demo, later he asked the function of the tools provided to build the intelligent blocks into anything he likes.

I prefer this kind of tool for my son as he not only improve his imagination and creativity but also his motor skills and thinking skills as he would explain each and everything he builds after he completed one.

*with some help and guidance from ayah..it strengthen parents-child bonding as well*

Alhamdulillah!bravo son.

Child learns while playing..let them play and guide them!

JB

Working while being with my beloved hubby and son in JB is heaven..
I'm enjoying the experience very much..I am happy and grateful..(alhamdulillah) for this opportunity..

*Beloved Umar in the pool..he learns swimming and some science knowledge on water*

really enjoy their accompany!

hari-hari dalam hidupku

This real life story of a muslimah really inspire me..it shows the real meaning of 'pergantungan kepada Allah' the Almighty..

This is the most important component in life that will ensure success in this world and there after.

It is true that in this life we have a lot of targets and ambitions to achieve, but if we don't have this principal, we'll be like a robot which function only to work and nothing else.This is when a human may forget their main purpose in life and why are we here in this world.

While reading this book I tried to implement the situation with modification to my life's situation and i pray hard that i'll always be grateful and seek Allah's blessings in whatever i do instead of human preference..it is a superb motivational and eye opener book for me..anything that can remind me to the Almighty Allah and to be grateful would be superb for me..Alhamdulillah..

Read and comprehend it!biiznillah..

p/s: revising the 'tarbiyatul aulad'..:)

out station to JB for 2 weeks

Away to JB for 2 weeks ..with dearest family for formal occasion..will update later!

find time for yourself

Having hectic schedule of many roles we played in life, I've found out that waking up 2hrs or even half an hr earlier than others in the family really makes huge different . It provides more time to tune to myself, to 'talk' about my concern or problem to the Almighty Allah and to prepare what ever needed for the day.

In islam it had actually been practice by many muslims out there. When I was in Oz, I remembered how discipline my housemates were which had influenced me to do the same. We woke up about an hr before the fajr prayer.Whoever woke up the earliest would wake the others. together we performed 'tahajjud' prayer n other prayers. the feeling was very nice. Knowing someone always care about you and it motivated everyone to wake up early in the chill-cold temperature.

Nowadays after being a wife, we practice the same principle. Each wakes another for the morning.we both perform prayer together before beloved son wakes up.

2hrs or at least half an hr before fajr, really works for me.I feel more prepared for the day,fresh and blessed.

Start the day early and earlier than anyone else in the family also is suggested in a number of motivational books and was practiced by those who succeeded in life. The different for muslim is we are offered opportunity to be alone with the almighty..why dont we try?

small thing may make big different!

have a try! biiznillah..

handle with care

My brain is craving for good books. I really wanna revise the 'tarbiyatul aulad' by Dr Abdullah Naseh Ulwan. I've read both 'jilids' before but I dont have my own copy. I borrowed them from a friend. Really wish to revise the second jilid coz I can barely remember the content.

Meanwhile, I have finished reading this book by a good author Jodi Picoult last month. So a brief review from me.

Synopsis:
Handle With Care explores the knotty tangle of medical ethics and personal morality. When faced with the reality of a fetus who will be disabled, at which point should an OB counsel termination? Should a parent have the right to make that choice? How disabled is TOO disabled? And as a parent, how far would you go to take care of someone you love? Would you alienate the rest of your family? Would you be willing to lie to your friends, to your spouse, to a court? And perhaps most difficult of all – would you admit to yourself that you might not actually be lying?

why do I like this book and other books by this author:

1. my medical background attract me to read this book on ostegenesis imperfecta (a very rare congenital bone disease)

2. mother instinct- this story make me feel more grateful for a healthy child and respect those who has special kids

3. a superb story line which blends the law and ethics - commonly happen in my real life

4. see life in different perspective and from different angle

happy reading..

have a little faith

the above title sounds familiar? Yeah right, it one of the famous book by Mitch Albom that you can find on the front shelves of mph or popular bookstores.

I myself haven't read that book and not sure what the content about.

recently I came across a number of examples where people from other religion bring fwd their faith to public. one thing that still bothering my mind is that, why seldom I see example for islam?

Even napoleon hill the author of many famous 'self-enrichment' books talk about his religion in his motivational book.

Even my lecturer who is a general practioner and a strict buddhist openly offer books on 'buddha' at the university's main counter but why muslim still wanna hide their faith? (not all but the majority I believe).

I am grateful for one major and important 'thing' i've learned from studying abroad is - 'izzah of islam (a.k.a proud of my religion). Being outside my home country had offered me an opportunity to have a bird's eye view of what happen in it.It allows me to compare and contrast many aspects.

Being in a country which majority of the citizens are non-muslims had opened my eyes on how people respect muslims.

a friend told me that one stranger whom she met at the psychiatric ward said; "muslim are lucky as you guys have clear guideline on what are allowed and forbidden as compared to my religion (which i've forgotten what religion he embraced). That's why i'm here".

I was very proud to wear my hijjab (tudung) as I felt like there's a flag on my head written 'i'm a muslim'. I love to explain to non-muslim who asked question e.g. Why you wear hijjab?why you don’t touch dog? Why you don't shake hands with males etc..they asked with full respect coz they want to know.

Undeniable that there are some cases where anti-islam insulted us. one example of my experience 'hey, just touch the doggy, he's cleaner than you muslim!!'- just be calm and don't waste your time arguing with them.

So..the conclusion is...have some faith (islam)and 'izzah of it (be proud of it) and share it with everyone because it is more precious than gold and anything valuable in this world. Imagine you have something very precious and for sure you wanna share it especially with your beloved ones. If they avoid it, I'm sure you will make him believe and have it right?

ballighu anni walau ayah...convey even for only a sentence!

all d best!

wallahualam...

kids can learn even from simple thing

I put this small plant in the bathroom as a decoration..
umar has seen this plant everyday until 2 days ago when he asked me:

umar: "umi why u put the plant in the toilet?"
ummi: "saje nak cantikkan tandas and senang nak siram. air dekat jek"
umar: why u put on there?
ummi: for the plant to get the sunlight
umar: sun dari mana?
ummi: tu dari tingkap

umar: oo, ok..nape xletak luar je?

huhu..my son has grown up now..asking lots of questions! I enjoyed it though!

umar sleeps alone

Thanks to Allah for another day to live in this world.

When we first moved to this house, we have decided for umar to sleep in his own bedroom.
I had this soft spot in me where I feel pity to him as I was afraid if my baby would think that we were abandoning him.

Hubby is a determined person and he always motivate and help me to deal with my own feeling.
Realizing the importance and the benefit from this 'step' I tried my best to hold my emotion and support this process.

Alhamdulillah since umar was 1year 11months old we managed to put him to sleep in his own bedroom.

*this was when he is few months old, the bed was not lowered down yet..need full monitoring*

what we have tried to encourgae him to sleep alone were:

1. spend one to one time with him and explain that he would sleep in his own bedroom. It is special for him and exclusively decorate for him.

2. we included nice (but not expensive) soft decoration e.g. cartoon curtain (fish theme, blue colour), his fav books and toys, dim light, a corner for him to do his activities..his own choice.

3. spend time with him before he fall asleep to read bedtime stories (choosen stories), whisper to him when he almost fall asleep to make him feel safe and to let him know we both loves him so much..and to utilise the power of subconscious mind;)

4. ensure that he is comfortable before sleep e.g. not hungry, toilet before sleep etc.

5. in the morning he usually call us "ummi umar dah bangun" or sometime we caught him play at his activity corner as he woke up.

6. first few mornings of the process, entertain his concern about sleeping alone and explain the real situation e.g. if he scared to be alone, explain that we are just next door and Allah always with him:) ..praise him as he successfully sleep alone through the night

7. need patience as it is a challenging process initially..;) trust in Allah, your son and in yourself..work as a team with your spouse.

umar the science kid

yesterday we did an experiment on milk and detergent..we wanna see how the detergent breaks down the fat in milk..it was simple and interesting experiment for umar to try..

I've noticed that umar now can follow instruction and eager to see the outcome..

Asusual he'll ask many questions that challenged me to answer. It is a good signs, it shows that his brain is working and he was learning while doing the experiment.

*the things needed*

*umar's happy and enthusiastic face before we start*

*the outcome* small bubbling when the fat was broken down by detergent

After finishing the experiment, umar asked for more flour to be added to the mixture. He wants to repeat the homemade dough activity that we had few weeks back. So I add some more flour and found out that the dough was softer and smells good..new experiment by umar..bravo!

after everything was done, as usual umar will say "Allhamdulillah" (in his own slang- according to my mum, its like mualaf pronounce it *cute*)

Do more and learn more!

communicate better with your child

we went to the nearby playground yesterday.we usually have an outdoor activity on wednesday morning either going to the park, library or buy groceries together..

not many kids around, and I've overheard this conversation between a mum and a kid while the kid navigate his kite. he is just about 5 years old.

mom: "tarik la tali tuh..kang jatuh..kalau xreti main xyah main"

son: *silent*

nowadays I've realized parents are more aware the importance of good communication with their children. The above scenario disappointing me. In my brain I was thinking

"why did you come to the playground on the first place?"

for me the answer is simple: to make my son happy and he can learns a lot of things indirectly.

But when a mother scold the child like that, it will be a bad experience or day for him or perhaps he would feel low confidence level as his own mother did not trust his capability..

poor child..

Please Allah, grants us patience to raise our children!

reading progress

Now umar taking his time enjoying a.k.a mastering & revising the 2a ladybird book..he reads about 2-3 pages a day..I just don't mind as long as he enjoy doing it. He can recognize some words clearly. While I was reading, he'll point out and read few words that he can recognize which enlighten me..

He also pointed out words on the telly and even laptop when we surf together.

I really excited and wanted to read with him more..bravo umar! alhamdulillah!

p/s: I'm craving for good books..i've finished on average 2 books per week now..ouch!need some more good bood for my brain!!

My son's pet

I never thought of keeping any pet at home until a friend gave me one. A siamese clean and adorable cat. She named him tommy.

I was at first hesitate to care for the cat because I was pregnant. A pregnant lady may have toxoplasmosis which may affect my unborn baby (the brain especially) and because my eldest son just 2 years 10months old. For a young kid like umar, I'm afraid if he get asthma or rhinitis (hubby has this) due to allergic to the cat fur.

Interestingly, hubby seems very interested to have the cat. I never thought that hubby like to have a pet at home as he is a detail person which I assume having a cat may compromise the cleanliness of our home sweet home.
and he has allergic rhinitis too (but not too bad).

Day by day..I fall in love with Tommy. I rarely touch tommy (but had little one way conversation with him) initially but day after day I was attracted to let him sit in my lap and sometime 'cuddle' him..

Then I realized that Tommy actually brings benefit to us.

For myself, I realized that touching and caring for tommy brings more peace within me. I sometime feel safe when Tommy is around. e.g. one night a stray cat got into our house at 2.30am from one of the open window downstairs. Because Tommy was around the cat fight with him and dismissed from our house..Tommy usually doesn't like other cat to mess around our house, which is good cause no more cat feces on my lawn grass.

Umar himself has shown his brotherhood to the cat. He called himself "abang umar' to the cat and really care for tommy as he is his younger brother. E.g. when he wanna sleep, he'll call tommy "come tommy to abang umar..we sleep together.." so cute:) This ease the transition to share ummi's and ayah's love with the baby soon and he starts to realize that it is fun to have a new playmate:) bravo umar!

today after about 3 months having tommy at home, umar has improved a lot.He cares more about the cat. first thing in the morning after seing me and hubby, he'll asked "where's tommy, umi?".

He'll run down stairs to feed tommy and when tommy show sign of thirst he'll put some water in tommy's container.I am proud of my son and glad that we have this cat.

for hubby, tommy make him less stress and more gentle..heheh..:) (he is a gentleman before now more gentle;) )

It is a wonder how a cat can change our life!! I've realized that I can used this to develop other aspect such as dicipline, responsibility in umar and as a medium to strentghen our parents child bonding ..alhamdulillah..

find a suitable pet for yourself..it is a new experience for us! Allah the Almighty who creates animals for human benefit!MasyaAllah..