menambah nilai diri dan anak-anak

Zaman ini adalah zaman yang penuh dengan persaingan. Fakta keadaan puluhan ribu mendapat keputusan yang hebat namun realitinya tidak semua memiliki qualiti yang diimpikan dan tidak semua kekal cemerlang. Pelbagai sektor menawarkan kursus dan peluang menambah kemahiran individu bagi menampung kekurangan dan menambah baik modal insan yang ada.

Namun kita tidak sedar bahawa peluang untuk 'menambah nilai' diri kita sangat dekat iaitu dengan menghayati dan menjadikan islam cara hidup dan neraca timbangan. Jika difikirkan kualiti mukmin bertambah apabila betul-betul menurut Quran. Dengan Islam pemikiran menjadi matang,dengan Islam disiplin menjadi hebat, dengan Islam tiada lagi masalah krisis mencari identiti diri.

Contoh lebih jelas, seorang doktor. Bukan setakat doktor biasa tetapi doktor yang hafal Quran. Doktor ini menambah nilai dirinya serta dapat memberi rawatan yang 'holistic' iaitu dari segi fizikal dan rohani. Jika rohani bercelaru pastinya fizikal tidak mencapai tahap optimum. Seorang suri rumah yang hafal Quran pula secara tidak langsung boleh memberi terapi islami kpd anak-anak mereka. Sungguh Islam memang mengangkat darjat individu.

Ternyata Allah menilai taqwa bukan zahir atau harta merupakan sesuatu yang tepat kerana taqwa yang hebat membentuk diri yang cemerlang.

Hidayah Allah itu tidak murah

*kisah benar yang di ubah nama..hanya mengambil pengajaran dari kisah benar kehidupan..*

Hati ini tersentuh sayu apabila melihat K Anis merenung keluar tingkap NICU dengan air mata yang jatuh satu persatu tanpa mengendahkan pandangan orang di sekeliling. Mungkin dia terkenangkan wajah comel arwah syazrul yang baru pergi buat selamanya 2 hari lalu pada usia hanya 8bulan dan kini syafi 5 tahun, satu-satunya anak yang tinggal terlantar dibantu mesin pernafasan.

Tidak cukup dengan ujian anak ini,si suami pula seumpama dirasuk hantu menjerit-jerit menyalahkan doktor dan pihak hospital dan paling kejam menzalimi K Anis dengan mengatakan keturunanbya membawa sial hingga anak-anak satu persatu sakit.Astaghfirullah....inilah dia apabila hati tiada lagi iman dan pergantungan kepada Allah yang Esa.

Berat sungguh ujianMu padanya ya Allah.. namun saya yakin Allah tidak akan menguji hambanya dengan sesuatu yang tidak mampu ditanggung hambaNya.

Teringat sewaktu oncall yang lalu pada hari Syafi bru sahaja di masukkan ke uni rawatan rapi NICU. Saya tiba - tiba disapa oleh K Anis dengan deruan air mata.

K Anis:"Doktor saya sedih sangat...saya lalui semua ini seorang diri. Suami tak henti-henti menuduh keluarga saya yang bukan-bukan.Dia sikit pun tak ambil kisah tentang anak-anak.tahu marah, tengking aje. Jangankan beri duit utk bantu, datang melawat pun tidak. Saya nak minta cerai la doktor dengan dia.Sesak sangat rasa dada ni..."

Sungguh saya kaku sebentar mendengar luahannya. Betapa hebat dugaan wanita ini.

Saya: Sabar kak. Ini ujian Allah.Saya tahu akak kuat. Saya tahu senang bercakap suruh sabar tapi hakikat yang menanggung terlalu berat..tapi akak percayalah akak tidak sendiri.Allah ada bersama.Saat ini yang boleh mengubah keadaan hanya Allah.Doktor pun manusia. Usaha apa yang termampu selebihnya Allah yang tentukan.Malam begini baik akak solat malam minta padaNya.InsyaAllah ringan sikit beban di dada.Saya rasa tentang cerai tu jgn fikirkan sangat sekarang sebab akak dan suami dua-dua tertekan,marah. Takut keputusan waktu ini tidak rasional.

K Anis: Doktor,sekarang hampir setiap malam saya ke surau tingkat 8 solat.Minta Allah tolong. Sekarang bila difikir-fikir saya baru tersedar yang saya dan suami dulu tidak memenuhi tanggungkawab solat lima waktu saya, jarang meminta padaNya. Bila jadi begini saya insaf. Sejak arwah syazrul sakit saya baru tersedar hakikat hidup yang sebenar.Mungkin Allah nak saya sedar dengan ujian ini..

MasyaAllah...saya sayu.Berat sungguh sesak di dada ibu ini. Mahal sungguh hidayah Allah. Besar sungguh pengorbanan bayi syazrul untuk membawa ibunya ke pangkal jalan..Subhanallah, hidayah Allah itu mahal sungguh nilainya..semoga kita mengambil pengajaran agar dekat padaNya..

mencari identiti

Apabila di imbau kenangan zaman remaja, salah satu perkara besar yg berlegar dikepala ketika itu adalah isu mencari identiti diri. Pada waktu itu mulalah 'meninjau-ninjau' potential idola seperti tokoh korporat,menteri dan tak ketinggalan di kalangan artis sendiri. Ini adalah lumrah. Sememangnya di usia remaja kita mula mencari 'siapa' diri kita dan bagaimana aku harus jadi sekarang seterusnya 10 atau 20 tahun akan datang.

Walaupun ianya lumrah tetapi ia adalah isu besar dan sangat penting. Isu PENCARIAN IDENTITI ini perlu diarahkan ke sasaran yang betul kerana jika kita perhatikan disekeliling kita pelbagai personaliti dan identiti barat menjadi pilihan remaja kita sehingga tiada lagi 'izzah atau bangga terhadap identiti Islam. Malahan ada yg malu utk mengamalkan cara hidup islam dikalangan rakan-rakan sendiri.

Maka disini JATIDIRI mukmin itu perlu disemai dalam diri kita sebagai remaja dan kita perlu yakin cara hidup Islam adalah yg terbaik. Jatidiri atau juga prinsip dan pendirian hidup sebagai muslim memastikann kita tidak tersasar dari cara hidup yang diredhai Allah.

Tapi bagaimana membina jatidiri?

Pertama sekali kita perlu jelas matlamat hidup kita yang sebenar iaitu mencari REDHA Allah. Perumpamaan hidup tanpa matlamat seperti memandu tanpa destinasi yg ingin dituju. Apa yg akan berlaku adalah kereta akan dipandu tanpa halatuju dan akhirnya akan terhenti dimana sahaja ataupun kembali ke tempat mula. Pembaziran masa, minyak dan tenaga berlaku. Kehidupan juga begitu. Tanpa matlamat banyak kerugiannyg berlaku tanpa kita sedari.

Dengan memiliki matlamat, secara tidak langsung jatidiri mudah dibina dan dipertahanlan dalam apa jua keadaan dan menghadapi pelbagai kekeliruannatau masalah dalam hidup.

Contohnya,apabila menyambung pelajaran di luar negara, pelbagai soalan ditujukan seperti mengapa memakai tudung? Adakah kerana tidak punya jati diri dan kita malu dilihat 'asing' maka kita menukar cara pemakaian menurut cara barat dengan alasan meng 'adaptasi' diri dalam komuniti?

Kedua, kita perlu sedar dan kenal diri kita merupakan seorang MUSLIM. Muslim yang dibekalkan dengan ‘manual’ kehidupan iaitu Al-Quran. Analogi kedua adalah seperti peti sejuk. Apabila kia membeli peti sejuk sudah pasti kita akan diberi ‘manual’ atau cara pengendalian peti sejuk itu. Tercatit aturan-aturan penggunaan agar peti sejuk itu tahan lama contohnya tidak meletakkan air panas didih kedalam peti sejuk kerana akan menjejaskan kestabilan suhu didalamnya. Jika kita terus melanggar aturan itu pasti peti sejuk tadi akan rosak. Begitu juga kehidupan kita hari ini. Identiti yang ROSAK adalah kesan daripada tidak mematuhi ‘manual’ kehidupan yang dibekalkan oleh pencipta kita dan ala mini iaitu Allah swt.

Sekiranya kita jelas hala tuju dan sedar dengan jelas bahawa kita seorang Muslim beratlamat pasti jatidiri akan terbina seterusnya mebuahkan identiti dan personality diri yang cukup hebat dan unggul.

Tiada guna sekiranya memiliki pencapaian akademik yang tinggi namun identiti berkiblatkan kebaratan .Hanya muslim yang sedar dirinya muslim yang memiliki matlamat tahu cara islam adalah gaya hidup sebenar yang akan menyelamatkannya di dunia dan akhirat.

Kadangkala terdengar suara yang menganggap imej muslimah adalah kuno dan tidak sesuai dengan kemodenan zaman sekarang. Ia sebenarnya adalah bergantung kepada apa ‘kiblat’ hidup anda. Sekiranya kita berkiblat dan membanggakan barat yang cirinya hanya cenderung memuaskan nafsu manusia pasti kita akan bersetuju dengan kenyataan tadi. Tetapi sekiranya kita jelas yang imej muslimah itu yang akan menyuburkan dan memelihara kesucian seorang wanita seterusnya menjana masyarakat bertamadun pasti imej ini akan terus dibela. Ternyata sudah ramai professional di luar sana yang berimej muslimah namun terus mengorak kejayaan demi kejayaan dalam kehidupan seterusnya menambah ‘saham’ akhirant mereka.

Ketiganya, siapa rakan kita dan kumpulan yang sering kita gauli memainkan peranan dalam membentuk jatidiri kita. Bukan maksud saya disini bahawa kita yang berjatidiri muslim hanya perlu bersahabat dan bergaul dengan orang melayu atau muslim sahaja. Maksud saya adalah
Terang bahawa kita perlu ada 'izzah atau bangga dengan agama Islam yang kita anuti sejak lahir. Malah kita sepatutnya mempertahankan aqidah dan memberi maklumat kepada yang bertanya tentang tidung tadi twntang gama Islam. Kita perlu memiliki nilai syahadah yang sempurna dan kemudian berdepan dengan Barat dengan cara yang terhormat.

Dan ini jelas sekali memerlulan jati diri. Kita tidak perlu merendah diri atau mengalah dengan identity barat sehingga melebur jatidiri kita sebagai Muslim sejati.

Apabila melihat individu yang tidak punya jatidiri sebenarnya umpama lalang yang sekejap kekanan dan sekejap le kiri kerana ditiup 'angin'. Dan ini sebenarnya memperlihatkan kelemahan diri individy itu sendiri swhingga mengundang kurang hormat daripada individu lain kepadanya.

"Sibghah Allah" Siapa yang lebih baik sibghah-Nya daripada Allah? Dan kepadaNya kami menyembah" (Al-Baqarah:138)

Dream, and translate it into organized thoughts!

Oh I'm inspired!! need to plan and prepare to realize these dreams!!

It comes when I am not totally on holiday..oh..Oh Allah please help me!

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..will write on it after I get the first good outcome ..biiznillah!

p/s: this will take some times ok;) please make doa for us!

turning moment ino opportunity

Optimism is synonymous with success. Every difficulty or even just an ordinary moment may be turned into an opportunity.

For example, Ms Lin was instructed to go for outstation for 4 days. She is a working mother who never been apart from her 2 young kids except for work. She found that it is hard to do it even for only 4 days.

Despite entertaining her misery, she has decided to turn it into an opportunity for her to read more on her current interest on online business and do some research on it since she does not has her daily routine with her kids. She ends up feeling occupied and went through the day with satisfaction and great outcome.

On the daily routine, a mother may change a boring routine into an interesting opportunity for her kids to learn. For example, the bath time. It is actually one of the most precious learning time. By being more creative for every different bath, it will make it a learning opportunity.

E.g. Experiment with water, why bottle float? why we cant breath in water etc. This may also be the stimulating step for further internet or encyclopedia exploration on the brought up point during bathtime.

what we need is some creativity and positive thinking!biiznillah..

hari-hari dalam hidupku

This real life story of a muslimah really inspire me..it shows the real meaning of 'pergantungan kepada Allah' the Almighty..

This is the most important component in life that will ensure success in this world and there after.

It is true that in this life we have a lot of targets and ambitions to achieve, but if we don't have this principal, we'll be like a robot which function only to work and nothing else.This is when a human may forget their main purpose in life and why are we here in this world.

While reading this book I tried to implement the situation with modification to my life's situation and i pray hard that i'll always be grateful and seek Allah's blessings in whatever i do instead of human preference..it is a superb motivational and eye opener book for me..anything that can remind me to the Almighty Allah and to be grateful would be superb for me..Alhamdulillah..

Read and comprehend it!biiznillah..

p/s: revising the 'tarbiyatul aulad'..:)

find time for yourself

Having hectic schedule of many roles we played in life, I've found out that waking up 2hrs or even half an hr earlier than others in the family really makes huge different . It provides more time to tune to myself, to 'talk' about my concern or problem to the Almighty Allah and to prepare what ever needed for the day.

In islam it had actually been practice by many muslims out there. When I was in Oz, I remembered how discipline my housemates were which had influenced me to do the same. We woke up about an hr before the fajr prayer.Whoever woke up the earliest would wake the others. together we performed 'tahajjud' prayer n other prayers. the feeling was very nice. Knowing someone always care about you and it motivated everyone to wake up early in the chill-cold temperature.

Nowadays after being a wife, we practice the same principle. Each wakes another for the morning.we both perform prayer together before beloved son wakes up.

2hrs or at least half an hr before fajr, really works for me.I feel more prepared for the day,fresh and blessed.

Start the day early and earlier than anyone else in the family also is suggested in a number of motivational books and was practiced by those who succeeded in life. The different for muslim is we are offered opportunity to be alone with the almighty..why dont we try?

small thing may make big different!

have a try! biiznillah..

have a little faith

the above title sounds familiar? Yeah right, it one of the famous book by Mitch Albom that you can find on the front shelves of mph or popular bookstores.

I myself haven't read that book and not sure what the content about.

recently I came across a number of examples where people from other religion bring fwd their faith to public. one thing that still bothering my mind is that, why seldom I see example for islam?

Even napoleon hill the author of many famous 'self-enrichment' books talk about his religion in his motivational book.

Even my lecturer who is a general practioner and a strict buddhist openly offer books on 'buddha' at the university's main counter but why muslim still wanna hide their faith? (not all but the majority I believe).

I am grateful for one major and important 'thing' i've learned from studying abroad is - 'izzah of islam (a.k.a proud of my religion). Being outside my home country had offered me an opportunity to have a bird's eye view of what happen in it.It allows me to compare and contrast many aspects.

Being in a country which majority of the citizens are non-muslims had opened my eyes on how people respect muslims.

a friend told me that one stranger whom she met at the psychiatric ward said; "muslim are lucky as you guys have clear guideline on what are allowed and forbidden as compared to my religion (which i've forgotten what religion he embraced). That's why i'm here".

I was very proud to wear my hijjab (tudung) as I felt like there's a flag on my head written 'i'm a muslim'. I love to explain to non-muslim who asked question e.g. Why you wear hijjab?why you don’t touch dog? Why you don't shake hands with males etc..they asked with full respect coz they want to know.

Undeniable that there are some cases where anti-islam insulted us. one example of my experience 'hey, just touch the doggy, he's cleaner than you muslim!!'- just be calm and don't waste your time arguing with them.

So..the conclusion is...have some faith (islam)and 'izzah of it (be proud of it) and share it with everyone because it is more precious than gold and anything valuable in this world. Imagine you have something very precious and for sure you wanna share it especially with your beloved ones. If they avoid it, I'm sure you will make him believe and have it right?

ballighu anni walau ayah...convey even for only a sentence!

all d best!

wallahualam...

career and family

Nowadays majority women working while parenting. It is also a growing trend for mothers to start working from home and it has been a good steps to improve the quality of the parents-child bonding.

I personally feels that working from home and be with your child 247 is a bonus and anyone with this previlage must be grateful.

I myself had decided to be in the working-mum line (for the time being;)), however I strongly believed that working mother may have the same quality and similar good outcome on their child if we know how to have a 'quality' time in each and every single day with our child even though we are working outside the house.

I have started my family at a very young age (according to the trend nowadays) at 22 years old and be a mother at 23 years old. At that time i was a 2nd year medical student who studying abroad far from my family.

Many people questioning my ability to cope with my study/career and family. I do not say that I successfully gone through this challenging pathway but after I complete my undergrad study I have realized some points that make me strong and help me to survive both my study and my family..Alhamdulillah..thanks to Allah!!

When I looked back, I realized some points that I would like to share which had help me and may help others to survive this difficult situation:

1) First and foremost:

always pray and depends on Allah on everything and always be grateful on what He has given us...we have more than others if we realized..have strong believe that what Allah decides for us is the best.

2) Set priorities:

it is impossible for your child and your career to both be in No 1 rank. Working mother must honestly make your own decision. This help you to realized and focus on what you are doing. Many people afraid to say that they put their child at no 1 rank as they think that they might fail their course..but it is a wrong perception. Instead it actually helps to avoid confusion in future. I personally think that parenthood make me a better person in life and my career. It tremendously help me to think and act differently and have a better perspective. Maybe some people think that I am slow in my career development but I personally think that this doesnt changed my career goals, only the timeframe to reach that goals. I strongly believe that putting my family first wont hurt my career in the long run.

2) time management

working mother must have strong determination to 'manage our time' and 'work for it!' It is undeniable that it is sometime troublesome but if we have proper time organization it will really help!

3) enough support from family / people around you

Our spouse play the most important role. He must be an understanding person of our situation and willing to offer help at anytime. It will be a bonus if parents or in laws and friends wish to help (alhamdulillah this is my case) because sometime you need extra hand if your work schedule need you to go outstation etc.

4) child care:

how to choose a suitable childcare?

Some people prefer childcare or maid. For me I prefer childcare. Childcare have two catogories 1) family based and 2) child center based...will be discuss in later topic.

Work and enjoy at the same time mothers!;)